A bedtime routine for adults who can't switch off

Why a routine works

Your brain is very good at learning cues. If the last thing you do every night is answer messages in bed, bed becomes a place for alertness. If the last 45 minutes always look the same (lamps on low, shower, a book, lights out), those steps start to work like a dimmer switch. The routine itself becomes the signal that sleep is coming.

It also creates distance. Most people who can't switch off go straight from something demanding to lying in the dark. The routine is a buffer where the day can wind down before you ask your brain to.

A 45-minute template

Adjust the times to your own sleep window. If you don't have one yet, the sleep calculator will give you a starting point.

1. Earlier in the evening: close the dayDo a five-minute worry list or tomorrow's to-do list at least an hour or two before bed. Then you're not carrying it into the routine. See racing thoughts at night.
2. 45 minutes before bed: lights downSwitch off main lights and use lamps. Put your phone on charge somewhere you can't reach from bed.
3. 40 minutes before: warm showerOr a bath if you have time. Ten minutes is enough.
4. 25 minutes before: something slowGentle stretches or a few bedtime yoga poses, a paper book, calm music or a podcast you've heard before.
5. 5 minutes before: breatheA couple of minutes of slow breathing in bed. Here's how.
6. Lights out when you're sleepyNot just tired. If you're wide awake at your bedtime, stay in the dim, calm part of the routine a little longer.

What to put in it

There's no single right routine. Good ingredients share three features: they're calm, they're low-stakes, and they're the same most nights.

• Dim, warm light. Bright light in the evening pushes your body clock later. Lamps instead of ceiling lights make a real difference.
• Warmth, then cool. A 2019 meta-analysis found that a warm shower or bath about 1 to 2 hours before bed helped people fall asleep faster. Warming up the skin helps the body shed heat afterwards, and a falling core temperature is part of how we get sleepy.
• Gentle movement. Slow stretches or restorative yoga, not a workout.
• Something absorbing but not exciting. A familiar book, a puzzle, knitting, an audiobook you've heard before.
• Getting thoughts out of your head. A notepad by the bed for anything that pops up.

"Relaxing" habits that quietly keep you awake

• Scrolling. It feels passive but it's endlessly novel, and novelty is alerting. It also makes the routine stretch on and on.
• Gripping TV. A cliffhanger at 11 PM is a reason to stay awake. Save it for earlier.
• "Just checking" email. One work message can undo the whole hour.
• A nightcap. Alcohol makes you drowsy, then breaks up sleep later in the night.
• A late heavy meal. Try to finish dinner two or three hours before bed.
• Afternoon coffee. Caffeine lasts much longer than people expect. Check yours with the caffeine calculator.

Set up the room

Dark, quiet and on the cool side. Blackout curtains or an eye mask if light gets in early. Earplugs, or a low, steady sound, if noise wakes you (see white, pink or brown noise). And keep the bed for sleep: if you work, scroll or watch TV in bed, move those somewhere else for a few weeks and see what happens.

Making it stick

Start smaller than you think. Two steps you do every night beat seven steps you do on Sundays. Pick a wind-down start time that follows from a fixed wake-up time, and give it two weeks before judging it. Routines work by repetition, so the first few nights mostly just feel like a nicer evening.